No sin can be considered big or small. God doesn't grade on a curve, as long as it's wrong, it's a SIN. If i killed someone ten years ago, i'm equally guilty today if i spread false gossip to others. Physically and obviously two different types wrongdoings. We humans put scales on how big or small is that sin that we committed, but for God, there's no black or white, and surely no big or small. All the same, small sin = big sin = GUILTY.
I often create such 'parables' for myself- so i can relate to whatever things that occurred in my daily life. This morning, when walking down the bare, empty road to school, i reflected and asked myself; why can't i escape or avoid doing 'sin'? *FYI: It's because "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak" (Matt 26:41), but that's not an excuse for me or anyone to repeat the same mistake again and again.
Then i reminisce my old-self and compared the 'new-better-me' (so i thought...NU-UH! Masih lagi sama, pendosa).
Ok, sa merepek uda, back to the story. Why do i fall into the same trap again n again? Maybe because (a) Scared of changes,(b) Choose to stay in 'danger' or (c) Don't really want to 'get out' (masih lagi mo buat mistakes yg sama).
Here's my long unwinding parable.
There's one young sumandak eating bosou on a bench. She was pretty, with fair skin, and as a bonus, she had this long and silky black locks that every woman wished for (tia payah rebonding ni), and so she thought that she was very fortunate to have all these lovely attributes. People praised her beauty, and growing up that way, she's used to receiving compliments bah. But mmg malang la, because the bench she's sitting on ada bubblegum stuck just behind her back, so when she leaned over the bench, the chewed bubblegum sticks on her hair. Ko imagine la bubblegum melekat d kasut, even that is hard to be removed, apalagi di rambut.
*If you're a girl, u shrieked!
To her dismay, it was a large-nasty-moldy chewed gum, and she tried so hard to remove it but it ended in vain. She DOESN'T WANT TO CUT HER HAIR, she rather spend 3 hours removing the bits and pieces of gum from each hair strands rather than visiting a nearby saloon (astaja). Well, pa buli buat, she really loves her hair, if she radically cuts it short, she wouldn't look as pretty as she is now.
A week passed. She lived with the traces of gum. Eventually, (even after shampooing her hair twice everyday) the gum won't leave her hair. Dust sticks on it. Hair serum sticks on it, and it accumulates dirt. Her hair tangles badly, but she managed to style it well so the gum tdk kenampakan~ (bijak bijak...) After two weeks, she hardly ever combed her hair and people start noticing that her hair lacks shine and not sleek anymore. In the end, she cuts her hair short, and people said that it doesn't suit her frames. But what the heck, she's free from that nasty gums and yes, she can now comb her hair again. So dia bfikir la, when her new hair grows, she won't let the same thing happen again, nanti sayang rambut yang dijaganya.
You must be wondering. Wouldn't it be easier if she just cut off her hair short earlier? Yes.
But... What if i say that the chewed bubble gum represents Sin, while the lady represents you n me, and the hair represents those things which we often do even though it is wrong. Sometimes kan, d Devil sneaks into our comfort zone and tempt us with many things. We might not realize it but when the Holy Spirit gives warnings, we know that we need to change and throw away those bad habits. Want to know what habits i'm talking about?
**Let's be frank. Porn, masturbation, laziness, lies, cheating on your gf/bf, gossip, lust, pride, money, greedy, alcohol, drugs, disobedient, anger, gluttony, idolatry and all sorts of unholy and ungodly things. It's the Devil that sets trap and challenges in our lives while God strengthens and lift us out form the trap. The Devil yang lekat bubble-gum d rambut kita. And it's by our own choices whether to 'cut our hair' or not. Pilihan d tangan kita, it's either we throw away those bad habits or live with it.
Even with God by our side, it is tough to 'throw' away those things which already become habits. Recall back the girl. Reflect our selves.
- She's afraid to lose her nice long hair. We're afraid to lose those 'nice things' (money, friends, pangkat, enjoy, etc).
- She TRIED to remove the gum but failed. We've TRIED to throw those bad habits, repent and promise not to do 'it' again but failed.
- She still has a bit sticky gum left on her hair. We often KEEP a bit of 'it' by not surrendering 'it' fully to God ('it'= our trash= sin).
- The nasty gum accumulates dirt day by day, but the girl ignore it. 'It'-our sins, accumulates guilt, whereby those guilt becomes heavier as we ignore God by taking God's mercy for granted.
- Her hair was a mess because she did not cut it. Our life becomes a mess when we live in guilt and still sinning.
- When she had the courage to make radical changes, she cuts off her hair, the finest part of her long locks, so that she wont have to deal with the sticky hair anymore. When we gain courage from God, we can conquer our selves, obtain self-control and 'cut-off' the bad part form our lives even though it hurts or hard to let go. But it's for the better bah~ (Matt 5:29,30)
- She's happy because she can now grow out her new hair, minus the mess form the gum. We'll be happy once we surrender our 'trash' to God, minus the temptation form the Devil (klu boleh, elak la drpd buat bnda yg sama, TRY la!).
Everyday, we expose ourselves to the things which tempts us to sin. Such things are: unworthy friends, bribed money, porn CDs or magazines, bad websites, wrong choices of songs, ugly attitude, etc. Though it might be a struggle, we can always choose to eliminate them, to cut them off and throw them away...simply by surrendering to God, n making Christ as the center of our life and we do everything for His sake.
P/S: There's a difference between I CAN'T and I WON'T. Some habits CAN'T be removed immediately but with God's grace, we're able to ward the temptation. If u choose "I WON'T remove those habits", then you're heading to a fiery department underground, where there'l be no light, even a speck.
Just remember, Jesus is willing to forgive and though He hates sin, He still loves the Sinner. God is bigger than any of our sins; hence teda hal for God the Son to forgive and forget. Dia sgtla berkuasa~ He defeated Death and conquered LIFE. So what are we waiting for, when can we do some spring-cleaning? Gain courage from above, and start cleaning the 'inside cup', then can we clean the outer part of the cup itself. God loved us so much that He gave us d freewill to choose both the good and the bad. He's a democratic God btw~haha. So, again...to sin or not to sin? The choice is yours.
