The choice is yours.

No sin can be considered big or small. God doesn't grade on a curve, as long as it's wrong, it's a SIN. If i killed someone ten years ago, i'm equally guilty today if i spread false gossip to others. Physically and obviously two different types wrongdoings. We humans put scales on how big or small is that sin that we committed, but for God, there's no black or white, and surely no big or small. All the same, small sin = big sin = GUILTY.

I often create such 'parables' for myself- so i can relate to whatever things that occurred in my daily life. This morning, when walking down the bare, empty road to school, i reflected and asked myself; why can't i escape or avoid doing 'sin'? *FYI: It's because "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak" (Matt 26:41), but that's not an excuse for me or anyone to repeat the same mistake again and again.

Then i reminisce my old-self and compared the 'new-better-me' (so i thought...NU-UH! Masih lagi sama, pendosa).

Ok, sa merepek uda, back to the story. Why do i fall into the same trap again n again? Maybe because (a) Scared of changes,(b) Choose to stay in 'danger' or (c) Don't really want to 'get out' (masih lagi mo buat mistakes yg sama).

Here's my long unwinding parable.

There's one young sumandak eating bosou on a bench. She was pretty, with fair skin, and as a bonus, she had this long and silky black locks that every woman wished for (tia payah rebonding ni), and so she thought that she was very fortunate to have all these lovely attributes. People praised her beauty, and growing up that way, she's used to receiving compliments bah. But mmg malang la, because the bench she's sitting on ada bubblegum stuck just behind her back, so when she leaned over the bench, the chewed bubblegum sticks on her hair. Ko imagine la bubblegum melekat d kasut, even that is hard to be removed, apalagi di rambut.

*If you're a girl, u shrieked!

To her dismay, it was a large-nasty-moldy chewed gum, and she tried so hard to remove it but it ended in vain. She DOESN'T WANT TO CUT HER HAIR, she rather spend 3 hours removing the bits and pieces of gum from each hair strands rather than visiting a nearby saloon (astaja). Well, pa buli buat, she really loves her hair, if she radically cuts it short, she wouldn't look as pretty as she is now.

A week passed. She lived with the traces of gum. Eventually, (even after shampooing her hair twice everyday) the gum won't leave her hair. Dust sticks on it. Hair serum sticks on it, and it accumulates dirt. Her hair tangles badly, but she managed to style it well so the gum tdk kenampakan~ (bijak bijak...) After two weeks, she hardly ever combed her hair and people start noticing that her hair lacks shine and not sleek anymore. In the end, she cuts her hair short, and people said that it doesn't suit her frames. But what the heck, she's free from that nasty gums and yes, she can now comb her hair again. So dia bfikir la, when her new hair grows, she won't let the same thing happen again, nanti sayang rambut yang dijaganya.

You must be wondering. Wouldn't it be easier if she just cut off her hair short earlier? Yes.

But... What if i say that the chewed bubble gum represents Sin, while the lady represents you n me, and the hair represents those things which we often do even though it is wrong. Sometimes kan, d Devil sneaks into our comfort zone and tempt us with many things. We might not realize it but when the Holy Spirit gives warnings, we know that we need to change and throw away those bad habits. Want to know what habits i'm talking about?

**Let's be frank. Porn, masturbation, laziness, lies, cheating on your gf/bf, gossip, lust, pride, money, greedy, alcohol, drugs, disobedient, anger, gluttony, idolatry and all sorts of unholy and ungodly things. It's the Devil that sets trap and challenges in our lives while God strengthens and lift us out form the trap. The Devil yang lekat bubble-gum d rambut kita. And it's by our own choices whether to 'cut our hair' or not. Pilihan d tangan kita, it's either we throw away those bad habits or live with it.

Even with God by our side, it is tough to 'throw' away those things which already become habits. Recall back the girl. Reflect our selves.

• She's afraid to lose her nice long hair. We're afraid to lose those 'nice things' (money, friends, pangkat, enjoy, etc).
• She TRIED to remove the gum but failed. We've TRIED to throw those bad habits, repent and promise not to do 'it' again but failed.
• She still has a bit sticky gum left on her hair. We often KEEP a bit of 'it' by not surrendering 'it' fully to God ('it'= our trash= sin).
• The nasty gum accumulates dirt day by day, but the girl ignore it. 'It'-our sins, accumulates guilt, whereby those guilt becomes heavier as we ignore God by taking God's mercy for granted.
• Her hair was a mess because she did not cut it. Our life becomes a mess when we live in guilt and still sinning.
• When she had the courage to make radical changes, she cuts off her hair, the finest part of her long locks, so that she wont have to deal with the sticky hair anymore. When we gain courage from God, we can conquer our selves, obtain self-control and 'cut-off' the bad part form our lives even though it hurts or hard to let go. But it's for the better bah~ (Matt 5:29,30)
• She's happy because she can now grow out her new hair, minus the mess form the gum. We'll be happy once we surrender our 'trash' to God, minus the temptation form the Devil (klu boleh, elak la drpd buat bnda yg sama, TRY la!).

Everyday, we expose ourselves to the things which tempts us to sin. Such things are: unworthy friends, bribed money, porn CDs or magazines, bad websites, wrong choices of songs, ugly attitude, etc. Though it might be a struggle, we can always choose to eliminate them, to cut them off and throw them away...simply by surrendering to God, n making Christ as the center of our life and we do everything for His sake.

P/S: There's a difference between I CAN'T and I WON'T. Some habits CAN'T be removed immediately but with God's grace, we're able to ward the temptation. If u choose "I WON'T remove those habits", then you're heading to a fiery department underground, where there'l be no light, even a speck.

Just remember, Jesus is willing to forgive and though He hates sin, He still loves the Sinner. God is bigger than any of our sins; hence teda hal for God the Son to forgive and forget. Dia sgtla berkuasa~ He defeated Death and conquered LIFE. So what are we waiting for, when can we do some spring-cleaning? Gain courage from above, and start cleaning the 'inside cup', then can we clean the outer part of the cup itself. God loved us so much that He gave us d freewill to choose both the good and the bad. He's a democratic God btw~haha. So, again...to sin or not to sin? The choice is yours.

Careless Mistake!

Aghhhh! I thot practical nnt, sa ble improve myself, my skills, my personality and my knowledge... Chit, nda owh... I keep on doing and REPEATING the same mistakes, over n over again. If not, every day i will create one. Am i careless? YA!! Hahaha, adakah marah in my own blog~ Xbha... im just mixed up wit diz uneasiness and 'bluriness' (wujudkah that word?) yg membelenggu my practical days.

It's been three weeks since i lapor diri to Jabatan Kimia; which is on 3rd Jan, n now is 26th~but i feel like i'm ody half-cooked inside the oven, blum lagi bulan ke-2. Me, a fud tech student, kena letak seksyen toxicology~and i have to bear with urine, blood, gastric larvage( isi perut) and all sorts of other 'wacky' instruments yg payah mau handleeeee~~~ *Im scared to operate the instruments, it cost more than hundreds!! Thousands o harga dia....$$$$~
Eeeek. Actually, i messed up some alcohol analysis, and oh my dear~~itu mentor sa macam mau rise up uda boiling point, but praise God, he didn't freak out due to my stupidity; and he didn't shrieked at me. People at Jabatan Kimia were soooo nice, friendly, and level of patience mencecah langit. Sgt patient. I love them! But i hate my mistakes.

Hope by the end of January, i can flow with their flow and won't do any careless mistake anymore. Fed up with all those guilty feelings; and im tired of being timid in front of them. God, hope i can prove to myself and to them that im not merely a pure careless girl that needs inspection everytym buat kerja. I want to change! Sailormoon, bertukar!!! *beih, tiba2~

C'mon!!! Majulah elvut utk Praktikal training! *everyday la kena pakai labcoat, hukhuk~~~ Miss UMS plak...ma geng2 karas SSMP!

The Paradox Of our Time

The paradox of our time in history is that...

We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers.
Wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.
We spend more, but have less.
We buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families.
More conveniences, but less time.
We have more degrees, but less sense.
More knowledge, but less JUDGMENT.
More experts, but more problems.
More medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly,
laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry too quickly,
stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little,
watch TV too much, and PRAY too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, LOVE too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a LIFE;
We've added years to life, not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We've conquered outer space, but not inner space;
We've done larger things, but not BETTER things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the SOUL.
We've split the atom, but not our prejudice.
We write more, but learn less;
We plan more, but accomplish less;
We've learned to rush, but not to WAIT;
We have higher incomes, but lower MORALS;
We have more food, but less appeasement;

We build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication. We've become long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow RELATIONSHIPS.

These are the times of world PEACE, but domestic warfare; more leisure,but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes.

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to KILL.

It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to make a difference, or to just hit delete...

Short Story~

One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to Heaven. There he meets the Lord himself. The Lord says to the cat, "You've lived a good life and if there is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let Me know."

The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor." The Lord stops the cat and says, "Say no more," and a wonderful fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident and go to Heaven. Again the Lord is there to greet them with the same offer. The mice answer, "All of our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs, and even women with brooms. Running, running, running; we're tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so we don't have to run anymore?" The Lord says, "Say no more," and fits each mouse with beautiful new roller skates.

About a week later the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him in a deep sleep on the pillow. The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, "How are things since you arrived?"

The cat stretches and yawns and replies, "It's wonderful here! Better than I could have ever expected. And those little Meals on Wheels you've been sending by are the best!!!"

Nevermind November

Uh-Oh!!! OMG, manyak keja ow! Study Week (1st-7th Nov) was nothing close to study at all! *For me lah, dunno bout d rest...

Why oh why lah assignments suddenly came knocking on my door~ For christ sake, i need a break, boohoohoo... I wonder how everybody else is coping up with their studies; maybe they drink latte or kopi tenom before they start their revision.

OMG! I dont wanna be a nocturnal Food Tech student that craves for midnight revisions!! OMG, never ever wanted extra/puffy eyebags, cukuplah eyebags yg natural ni, uwieee~

November suppose to be happy. A very gleeful and cheerful and joyous month!! (Yala tuh, dlm mimpi)... 1st Nov feels like soooo yesterday... Today's d 2nd, and i dont feel like entering the 2nd week of November. Oh please sedate me and wake me up after 23rd! (That's d date for my final Finance paper...haha)

Owh, grumpy ol' me, mau tua ody cuz my birthday falls on this month. Oh well, suppose that I enjoy every bit of what is left of me, a 21 year-old & half-independent girl who still haven't registered her name untuk mengundi. Hahah~ Get on with it! Pray ur worries away Elvut! Ur Blog wants to throw up ody ni baca ur complaints.

Nevermind November. U still have December to look forward to. Be glee! And pray hard.

Latest Event!

PBK-XI!!! After 12years of absolute silence, Pesta Belia Keuskupan is back in track! D event was a success and proved to be memorable for many youths from around KK diocese. Words cant express how it went and how well it changes other people's life in just a brief 4-day program, yet... We know that many will crave for PBK-13 in the next few years. See ya' soon, til' then... GBU~

Patriotism

Last night (3oth August) was Independence's Eve, d night before "Merdeka! Merdeka!" was wailed throughout the whole dataran area, and people in UMS were doing countdowns at the sport complex. Neither me nor my room mates participated in those 'things'... Things which we considered were just a 'minor-thingy' and watching drama marathons from laptops were considered more important than celebrating Merdeka...

I went home around 9 p.m and along the highway road (di tanjung Lipat), got some gutsy bikers (riding bicycles, not motors) cycling around the dangerous road with big Malaysian and Sabah flag tucked behind their bikes. Yet, they were foreigners... *Sigh~ How can someone, someone from other countries show-off their pride waving OUR flag, sedangkan WE as PURE CITIZENS of Malaysia dont even care to put a small flag on our car, or to stand up properly when we hear Negaraku berkumandang...
*Question mark~ Maybe innocent-minded and naive people are the only ones who can appreciate this country~

When d driver beside me saw them, dat person exclaimed "PTI, buat palah macam tu, kasi stress pemandu ja mau drive, takut accident..", As if the bikers were referred as road-pesters and that patriotism act was just a waste of time.

Not many of us would do the same, to pose a 1 meter flag using just a rusty cheap bicycle along a busy highway; cuz we're busy thinking that 1 Malaysia cant be achieved: Blame the lame clown-politicians-unable to handle things fair and square; and woe to those "clustered-people" who only prefer to be one with their own species. ((Stratifying your own races, religion and language wont do much for our multicolored country)).
Be 'distributed', go and mingle with others, then you may be able to appreciate the blue-red-yellow-white piece of cloth known as OUR FLAG. Sabahans, we are MALAYSIANS, we are no longer Borneo. Play our part in realizing 1 Malaysia. We dont have to wait for the higher authority to make a change. We too, can...by first- appreciating our country. So wave your flag (if u have one)~~~ ^_^